The
continuing
proliferation of drones and promises of
thousands more in the near future should cause rational minds to sound the alarms. The next time somebody calls up the local
sheriff to report a UFO landing, chances are it could actually be somebody's
expensive hobby, a government (at what level?) spy device, or a pizza delivery
vehicle. Whatever it is, it's bound to
urinate you off.
That's why I'm
publicly calling for sledgehammer manufacturers to dramatically step up
production so every man, woman, transgendered either/or and child in the U.S.
can deal with intruding drones appropriately.
Now, we're not talking about drones hovering or flying annoyingly high
overhead -- and don't get me wrong, if we could reach them with a hammer we
would. On the contrary, let's focus our
attention to drones invading our personal space, perhaps zooming within reach or (my favorite scenario) landing
in our yards through either intention or accident. My advice? Let's pass a law.
Got a drone? Don't look for an
insignia and don't strike up a conversation or photo-op with the damned thing,
just take out a sledgehammer and beat the stuffing out of it. Should any portion of your alien drone
shatter into pieces, sweep 'em up, bag the fragments for the trash collector's
next visit and be done with the affair, without guilt and pleased with yourself
for making a difference. Take it to a recycling center if necessary, portraying it as an old blender or banged-up freezer. But get rid
of it! Invasive drones, like visits
from long lost relatives, tend to be as welcome as rotting fish of
three days' vintage. Oh -- and should anybody come knocking on the door about their lost
drone, just make up a story about seeing a cat playing with and wandering off with something curiously
larger than a catnip toy, or perhaps you can merely invoke a coyote pack which
carried something or another into the wilderness. The downside:
Like so many things, I'm afraid we'll need to turn to China for extra
sledgehammers, as we do for parts for our military fighter aircraft. If you can't trust the Chinese government,
who can you trust? We demand our
sledgehammers and we want them now.
Fort Hood, Texas
makes the news again. Tragically, military personnel are still
forbidden to carry guns on such installations, and again we witness the horror
of "gun-free" zones. Say what you will, this particular soldier was just a really bad guy, hazardous to all around him in the end. Like it
or not, life is not a Disney cartoon and our lives have become integrated with
people of every ilk whose throbbing, unsteady brains can go murderously
hair-trigger bonkers at a moment's notice.
As for the high-level (read:
Washington and the White House) folks who prefer to either ignore or
make fancy hollow speeches about such tragedies, what are they going to do next
-- call out Maj. Nidal Hasan and make him Fort Hood's consulting psychiatrist
before he receives his well-deserved death penalty? Looks like this cockroach isn't going
anywhere for some time, so I wouldn't be surprised to find his psych talents
propped up by Mr. Obama's buddies, the Muslim Brotherhood. In the meantime, by all means let's continue
doing what we do best -- drug the hell out of everybody with so much as an eye
twitch, and then drug 'em some more as the drug industry invents even more crap
for humans to swallow and then pee into public water supplies, where a host of
medications combine to influence everybody's health and DNA
futures. If you're not crazy now, give
it some time and you or your kids' kids
will be. In the meantime, you need that
gun more than you need a psychiatric consult. Especially at Fort Hood.
You'd almost
think climate change is mainstream media property. Anyway, this weekend Showtime begins
its TV series, "Years of Living Dangerously," propped up not only
with scientists riding the c.c. train (we assume scientists from the other
side will be valiantly excluded), but with actors and actresses to lend
special credence to the affair. The goal
of inviting show folk such as Don Cheadle, Matt Damon, America Ferrera,
Harrison Ford, Michael C. Hall, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Ian Somerhalder to
participate in conjunction with a panel of scientists is apparently to entice
young viewers into watching more it's-our-fault claptrap as famous thespian
faces strive to invite vastly uninformed TV-addicted youth and blockheads into
the fold. We all agree that "climate
change" exists every day, and sometimes the results are disastrous -- but
to combine actors with scientists, all of whose minds are made up anyway, is
just plain foolishness. Who cares what
some albeit intelligent member of the acting community has to say about climate
change, probably zeroing in on unproven human-caused catastrophes? Hey, stage-and-screen
representatives spend their lives reading scripts, performing rehearsed
actions, feigning sex and doing other things like trained seals -- why in hell
are they experts just because they're famous?
I'll be anxiously awaiting a Showtime series allowing skeptical
"climate change" scientists to have their say, undoubtedly joined by
actors and actresses we've never heard of, to offer special credence. Meanwhile, I'd prefer that Ian Somerhalder just
sink his vampire fangs into the production staff's necks and be done with this
affair. Maybe Michael C. Hall's Dexter
can help, too.
David Letterman
announces his departure. Since we're
mentioning celebrities, Letterman states he's retiring his CBS-TV show next
year. My first thought was, aha, Jay Leno's
next big chance. . .
